Disclaimer: this is by no means an attempt to deny the problem of autism or minimize the pain experienced by those who suffer from it and their families. Instead, it is my attempt at highlighting how abhorrent it sounds to make light of a serious medical problem in such an insensitive manner, just to score some political points.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the very insightful press conference at the Whitehouse the other day on the most important scientific discovery of all ages, that the main cause of autism is the use of Tylenol at pregnancy. The mostly forgotten scientific methods of pondering and feeling, used by two of the most revered medical professionals of our time, president Trump and Dr RFK Jr, inspired me to consider other potential causes that might have been overlooked. But before I get to that, if you are wondering why I refer to the secretary of HHS as Dr, it is because of the little known fact that he has a doctorate degree in antivaxology from the Bigfoot school of medical astrology at Lock Ness in Scotland. He never mentions that out of abundance of modesty, a very common trait among the members of the current administration.

Now regarding my thoughts, similar to the ponderings of Dr RFK Jr’s, that the fact that we don’t see autistic people that are 70 years old is evidence that it is a pandemic, and that it must be related to medications that started to be used only over the last five or six decades, and following the president’s scientific method of “feeling” what is medically right or wrong, such as Hepatitis B shots not “feeling” right for children under 12, I started thinking about other happenings over the last five or six decades, and “feeling” what else could have played a role in the exponential increase in the rate of autism, so much so, that right now in California, more than 1300 percent of children are autistic, whereas the Amish communities have the lowest rate of autism at minus 600 percent. My feelings guided me towards the little-known fact described as the increase in the temperatures and the intensity of severe weather patterns, such as hurricanes, over the last several decades. Like Dr RFK Jr I pondered whether the fact that we don’t see 70 year old autistic people around us could be because those people grew up in cooler temperatures. During these deep thoughts, I had an epiphany and someone appeared to me, engulfed in a very bright light that prevented me from seeing their face except for its strange orange color, and told me “what you feel is what is true.”

I don’t know about you, but the above thoughts, feelings, and experiences are reason enough for me to believe that the above described phenomenon of climate change has had a very important role in the spread of the autism pandemic. And the only way to disprove this theory is to implement measures that reduce or even reverse the effects of climate change over the next few decades. If at that time we don’t start seeing lower rates of autism, then my theory may be wrong. But until then, this could be considered as one of the prevalent theories on the most important cause of autism.